For those of us who have been abused — either sexually, physically or emotionally — self talk is like a nasty recorder in our heads. We tell ourselves how horrible we are; that the abuse was our fault; that we are worthless, unlovable — but most of all we feel like failures. That there is something “wrong” with us because we were abused.
This post from a group I follow on Facebook, hits the nail on the head. This is something I will need to work on every day. I need to work on self-love in addition to banishing the negative internal self-talk.
I am healing from the child sexual abuse I suffered. I’m transitioning from a victim to a survivor. The journey will be long and some very hard things will have to be addressed; however, I will become stronger and healthier along the way…….to finally being healed.
From Talking Trees — Adult Survivors of CSA: Changing our internal self-talk can be quite difficult. Before we know it our mind has wandered off into negative thinking about ourselves or the world because our default is to focus on what is void, struggle and disappointment. Forget gratitude, that’s for people who have something to be grateful for, we might believe. The more difficult it is to change our internal self-talk, the more important it is to change our verbal expressions. Stating that you are trying to learn to love yourself is far more healing than stating that you hate yourself. Stating that you are working on taking back your body if far more healing than stating that your body is vile. Stating that you are still working on healthy relationships if far more healing than claiming that no one will ever love you. The expressions you use to describe your experience may be the difference between feeling like a victim and being a survivor. Your input into the healing process influences the output of the healing process. As you change your language, your internal self-talk may also begin to change.