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I am becoming more acutely aware that I am in desperate need of emotional intelligence. I realize I lack this skill – if it is a single skill – or I lack this skill set.

I bought a book on emotional intelligence – perhaps two (one being a kindle book) -however, the need for me to actually read them is upon me. 

For those of us who have been abused – whether physically, emotionally, sexually or all of them or any combination – we find that how we handle emotions and how we handle inter-personal relationships leave much room for growth and awareness (for lack of a better word). That was really hard to put into words. WOW!!

Basically, we have shut off our emotions or our emotional growth has been stunted and so we are not great at expressing our emotions nor dealing with people. We need to be re-taught how to deal with people and how to express ourselves properly.  We also need to heal our wounded inner child and get the “junk” out of ourselves so we can heal and grow and be able to express ourselves in the correct context and not like children. 

This post is being brought about because, once again, I’m on the cusp of getting into trouble at work for my behavior. How I express myself and my emotional intelligence. Luckily, I have a new boss who is willing to help me work through this problem and she gave me some good pointers today. I just need to put them into action. Always easier said than done.  

Of course, one of my initial reactions was hurt and anger because I feel threatened. My job is at stake and my job is one of my main identities. Of course, I was also thinking in the back of my mind BLOG POST!!! 🤗. I have come to enjoy blogging and have found this to be a great outlet for me to express myself. A lot of people journal; however, I found that I type a lot faster than I write and I enjoy knowing that even if no one reads it, it’s as if there might be that one person. Perhaps God is reading it. So sometimes I act as if I’m writing to God. I’m also hoping he is listening as well. 

Therefore, some of my posts will be prayers to God as I so desperately need His help in my life. Such as, how do you surrender your life to Him?  Is it really a control thing?  I really would like the answer to that question and could someone show me what that looks like?

So, if anyone has the answers to my questions or wants to comment about their journey with emotional intelligence, please do. You might have to Google it first. I did just to ensure I was talking about the correct subject that was in my head all day. Of course it was the snake from the “Friend or Foe” post who is ratting me out. I guess I know which one she really is now, don’t I?

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